So Melancholy

It's been two months today since my dad died.  I can't shake this sadness in me & it seems to be getting worse, not better.  On top of missing him, the whole mortality thing has really done a number on my mental well-being.  Yep, I can feel myself spiralling into another midlife crisis as I type -- can I get a sarcastic "yay," please?  Alas, instead of me kvetching about my woes, I'm going to listen to some Joplin & ponder if "Kick-Ass 2" will be a decent enough movie or not...

A Very YouTube Passover

Well, the seder at my mom's been cancelled tonight, so I'm doing what any good jew would do instead... scour YouTube for Passover-related videos, such as these gems:

Bob Marley performing Exodus live in concert


Aretha Franklin's cover of Elton John's The Border Song


Los Diez Mandamientos (a.k.a. The Ten Commandments)

Hello to my 3 Subscribers

Haven't posted in awhile.  It's not like I'm wallowing away in grief over the loss of my dad & avoiding all outlets of communication -- that's so February of me.  I've just been steering clear b/c I've been so busy w/ volunteer work at Claire's school & only finished clearing out my dad's apartment last week.  (BTW, I'm working the Scholastic Book Fair at PS 196Q all week long, so stop by if you're 'round.)

Any old ways, I missed "Shameless" last night to watch "The Walking Dead," so I'm gonna post this now, so I catch tonight's airing of the show.

While I'm gone, enjoy the theme song of "Shameless" by the High Strung, "The Luck You Got."

Just the first set of photos of my dad to share

I can't scan right now, so I'm relying on photos my dad & I had on Facebook to share w/ Bonni.  I'll add more here n' there.

 

I miss him.

 

 

 

Another Chance to Remember Norman Fisher

On Wednesday, February 27th, from 7:30pm to 8:30pm, there will be a memorial service at the East 55th Street Conservative Synagogue to celebrate my father Norman Fisher's life w/ the lives he touched throughout the years.  The complete address is:

308 East 55th Street, NYC
Between 1st & 2nd Avenues

Not that my dad was a conservative, but as I've written on this blog before, my dad was a very active, long-time & proud member of Alcoholics Anonymous, so immediately following Templeton's AA meeting (or really 15 minutes after it ends) at that location, the service will be held.  If you would like to attend the meeting before the service, that begins at 6:15pm.

Also, as a reminder, a memorial fund was set-up under my dad's name to go towards Partnership at Drugfree's The Hope Share program.  To donate or for more information, go to Norman Fisher Memorial Fund.

Please spread the news to friends & family.

Thanks.

[Update, 2/27: For more photos of my dad... http://itskitti.blogspot.com/2013/02/just-first-set-of-photos-of-my-dad-to.html]

Where is My Mind?

Two weeks-&-a-day since my dad died & I thought I totally had it together, but when push came to shove, frazzled-mindless'ness won over.

Gotta focus on getting organized & back to reality.  I mean, sure, I'm allowed to grieve, but I've still got commitments, like the Parents Association & the Putch.  And, now, I've got to make sure that everything gets taken care of w/ my dad, in terms of finances & what to do w/ his stuff.

Thankfully, I have very supportive friends & family.

Stop & Shop to the Rescue

I didn't have time to bake n' frost 36 cupcakes for Claire's birthday celebration at school today, so instead I ordered up some tye-dyed ones from the Stop & Shop, which I picked-up & dropped-off already.

We're going to do a whole bunch of celebrations for her birthday, so I'll whip-up some cupcakes then.

Double 1's for the Putch

My sweet, sensitive girl w/ the sense of humor of a college fray-boy turns 11 today.  She's had quite a year at 10 & I hope this one rocks even harder & better than before for her.  She's got a style of her own & I'm so proud for everything she believes in & does.

Below are a couple of pictures of her & my dad when she was just months old.  It was her first trip to Florida.

 

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY, CLAIRE

Saying Goodbye to my Dad, Part II

I'm flying down to Miami w/ my family in a few hours.  My dad's funeral is tomorrow some time, not sure when.

I have been floored by the condolences & support of everyone.  There were 200 people at my dad's memorial service in Jersey this Thursday -- I expected less than 50.  & the calls, emails, cards & posts have been overwhelming.  Wow, before I start crying again, I'm going to just post this & send my love & appreciation.  Thanks.

My dad's NYC memorial service will be some time at the end of this month.  As the details emerge, I'll share them w/ all.

The Norman Fisher Memorial Fund

As many of you know, I suddenly lost my father Norman Fisher this past Monday.  And, if you knew my dad, you'd know that he was a proud & active member of AA.  It was his 25+ years of work in AA that made him able to become a devoted & generous father, grandfather, family member and friend.  He was also a fantastic speaker & sponsor, sharing the joy of his life in recovery, and lots of heartfelt humor to reflect on how he got there.

In light of that, we have created The Norman Fisher Memorial Fund (http://www.drugfree.com/NormanFisher), which will benefit The Hope Share iniative of The Partnership at Drugfree.

Please consider giving to this important cause & spread around the news.  Pretty darn much, it's people sharing their stories in hope to inspire others, especially the young ones, to stop drinking or drugging.  As quoted from their site:

<<< By sharing your addiction and recovery stories we BREAK THROUGH the stigma and discrimination that people with drug or drinking problems face. This campaign will let young people and the families of teens and young adults who are struggling with drug and alcohol addiction know that they can share their story or show support for someone else’s story. >>>

My World is Completely Crushed

It's weird... the best person who could do a eulogy for my dad is my dad.  He was always amazing when I saw him speak/share at his AA meetings.  (BTW, I know that there's the whole anonymity thing, but let's be honest... my dad was so proud to be a 20+ year friend of Bill W & cherished the relationships he made at his meetings throughout the years/decades.)

Unfortunately, he's not here to help me write one.  So, while I try to figure out how I'm gonna craft up something read at the funeral w/out it involving me pleading for him to come back, I decided to go on youtube & find some music to play that I know my dad would appreciate & would soothe me -- I can start writing tomorrow.

Now, since Paul Butterfield Blues Band's East/West album was a staple in our family's listening library (& b/c I couldn't find the full album on youtube) when I was just a wee one, I'd like to share this:

Paul Butterfield Blues Band's Born in Chicago from East West


Kinda funny... all these years I thought it was my mom who was the big Beatles fan while I was growing-up & it was actually my dad.  He was playing the White Album last time Claire & I were in his car.  I'm going to miss that.  Not the driving part b/c I always felt like he could swerve or crash, but the listening to music all the time.  In the car, in the apartment... I don't like the silence.  So, w/ that said:
 
The Beatles' White Album (full album)


This one's for Bonni.  She always played it for our dad at Bar Mitzvahs & celebrations.  (Does anyone remember seeing him play this on either Mike Douglas or Merv Griffin?  I do.)

Patrick Hernandez, Born to Be Alive


Holy jeez crap.  I do miss my dad.  This dying shit is really knocking the ass out of me.  Gosh, I didn't plan to write anything & just post some songs, but lemme tell you... I feel like I lost my best friend, idol, biggest fan & supporter all at once.  66 is just too young to go.  I just feel like he had so much more to experience & live.  Sucks.

& w/ that said.  Good night.  I'll just post more music tomorrow or one of these days.

Gonna wallow in my misery & then get to sleep b/c I've got to leave for the funeral home in Jersey at 7am.  Good times coming up.  Good times.

Today is a crappy, no good day

Just gonna lay it out... my dad passed away from a massive heart attack this morning at work.

I'm going to take a break from this blog & all things social media for awhile to take time & reflect.

Till then.  There's no videos or songs to share.  Just silence.

[Update, 2/3: I forgot to update that the cause of my dad's death is not for certain.  It could've been a heart attack, but it also could've been a blood clot, annuerysm (sp?), stroke... you-name-it.  We didn't do an autopsy, so it'll just be the Great Mystery to us all.]

This Middle-Aged Girl's Gone Rockin'

Carl's still out & Claire's finally asleep after watching "Pitch Perfect" (fun movie) & singing along to "Les Mis" songs on YouTube (I still choked-up, but didn't cry this time).  So, what's a gal to do on a Sunday night at almost 11pm at night?  Watch "Adult Swim" on Cartoon Network & search YouTube for full concerts that are new to me, like, these two from 1966 (3 years before I was born):

The Beatles in Japan


Thelonious Monk... somewhere (Doesn't seem like Japan to me)

I Joined the Masses & Bawled My Eyes Out

Yesterday, I finally saw "Les Miserables" w/ my dad & Claire after weeks of waiting & boy howdy, I cried like a baby throughout the entire movie.  I mean, I knew that I'd cry a bit b/c I always did when my dad & I would see "Les Mis" on Broadway, but man-oh-mammy, I didn't expect the tears to flow even after the movie ended at just the mention of a scene or humming of a song.

At least I'm lucky enough for Claire to not have her ipod touch w/ her on the walk home on Austin Street b/c I really don't need something like this going around of me:

0 to 66

Being the good daughter I am, I skipped ImprovEverywhere's "No Pants Train Ride" mission today to celebrate my dad's 66th birthday w/ Claire, Carl, Bonni & her family.  We had lunch at the Green Kitchen & then went swimming at the pool in my dad's building.  A not-too-shabby & relaxing day -- even better... no real traffic to & from Jersey.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

No NYCTF For Me

Well, I've kinda known for awhile, but, haven't shared yet the news that the NYC Teaching Fellows rejected me.  At least they were polite enough to send a stock email response that says I can re-apply come this fall.

Note to self: If I re-apply & get chosen for another interview, I promise to create & present a kick-ass lesson plan & not come across as an incompetent flake.

I gotta admit, I know I was really nervous about having to go back to school if selected, so this should come as a relief to me, but I'm actually bummed.  I was looking forward to becoming a teacher, so I may pursue that road despite the lack of NYCTF love.

We'll see.

Kvell Alert: Claire Fisher Borgatti, Kidsday Reporter

I still use a non-texting cell phone, so, far be it from me to say anything about Bonni for not being on Facebook so it'd be easier for everyone to "share" w/ her at the same time as others.  No biggie.  I'll just re-post these two articles by Claire that were featured in the Kidsday section of Newsday over the past week here.

"Proud" is such a weak word to describe what I truly felt when I read them in the paper.  The first is on our lunch box collection at home.  The second is about Max & Mina's Ice Cream shop on Main Street in Flushing, Queens.

So, here they are, Bon (& anyone else who missed this on Facebook).

Breakfast Just Got a Little More Funner

Source: Uploaded by user via Kitti on Pinterest

Resolution Makin' Time

Well, I've been giving this a lot of thought since last I wrote about resolutions. Gonna let one of my resolutions from last year ride into 2013 b/c I didn't quite conquer my less-than-organized style of living & then add two more, so it'll go like this...

Health: I'm going to get all the check-ups, tests n' crap that I should've done years ago. I'm also going to start Yoga classes (honest).

Produce Creatively: I've got to get off my tuckhis & start getting back to my art.

Take Care Of What Needs Taking Care Of: I need to stop procrastinating (as much) & become a Do'er not a Don't'er.

So, power to me. Let's see how this all goes.

I Totally Fell Asleep Before the Ball Dropped

Despite the good time being had yesterday evening at the house in VT, there's nothing new w/ me not staying up till midnight on New Year's Eve.  I made it till the end of MC Hammer (now just Hammer) & Psy doing it Gangnam style, which was rather strange, maybe a smidge later & then fell asleep on the couch.  Regardless of my not being 'round to ring in the 2013, I still wish y'all a very happy, healthy & serene new year.

(Resolutions to come.  I'm still working on 'em.)